I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
