god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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