I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
