There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
