i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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