High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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