I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
