we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
