Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
