wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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