You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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