im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
