Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
