I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
