ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
