super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
