we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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