I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i will never coherently bang her
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
