Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
