VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
