no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
