She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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