Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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