my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
