so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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