Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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