oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
