his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
