took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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