Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
