That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
