I wish my penis had an off switch
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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