I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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