i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
