Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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