Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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