I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
