You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
