you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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