You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
