So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
