I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
