so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
