When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
