she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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