his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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