the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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