So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
