Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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