Small penises have feelings too.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
