I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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