so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
