i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
